Rethinking the Resilience Narrative

While resilience—the ability to recover from challenges—is undoubtedly valuable, overemphasising it can unintentionally place undue pressure on individuals to "tough it out" or handle struggles on their own.

When someone hears “You’re so resilient,” it might feel like their suffering is being overshadowed by an expectation to keep persevering without help. While the speaker might intend these comments to be encouraging, in some situations, they can also create barriers to expressing vulnerability, seeking assistance, or fully exploring the depth of a person’s experiences. 

While recognising that resilience is important, it is equally important to create space for people to acknowledge their challenges without judgment or pressure.

So, what can we do instead? We can recognise that a person can both be resilient and benefit from support at the same time. 

Focus on affirming the individual’s efforts and feelings in the moment. 

Phrases such as “I want to acknowledge how resilient you have been. But it’s okay to feel overwhelmed; you don’t have to do this alone” can foster connection and trust.

This approach can validate the individual’s experience while reminding them that support is available, regardless of their perceived strength.

Compassionate care is about recognising the complexity of recovery, which includes moments of resilience and moments of needing support. It helps ensure that people feel seen, heard, and supported throughout their journey.